Considering, 'What Serves?' Instead of Trying to Be 'Good.'

byElizabeth Mattis Namgyel

     So, I’ve been thinking a lot about this: even as Buddhists we get caught in beliefs.  A lot, I think.  We tend to see the precepts and guidelines in a rigid way and there is a tremendous amount of should’s and shouldn’ts we have with our practice.  In the way that we are with our teacher, in the way that we are with our sangha.  For example, what a good practitioner would be like.  ‘I’m not a good practitioner because…’ There are so many shoulds and shouldnts'.  How much we should practice?  There’s always this pressure, it’s like something’s breathing down our neck when we aren’t practicing more. What we should have faith in. What should a good devoted student look like? ‘Why do I have doubt’s, I shouldn’t  have doubts.’ All these right a wrongs.

     Vanessa from Vermont was saying she wants to be a good student but she can’t seem to live up to being good. I told her that at least from my understanding, that being a dharma student has nothing to do with being ‘good.’

     I don’t think I would be a Buddhist if it had to do with being good.  I’m just not that interested in being ‘good,’ you know?  What does that mean anyways?  ‘Good’ is a very subjective and very changing, rigid, idea.  And it’ based on ‘who I am’ and ‘who I should be’, ‘what I could be’, ‘what I’m not, ‘what I am.’  These are very static ways of looking at mind and experience.  Instead, what’s really helpful is to ask what serves to bring about happiness?  What serves to bring about benefit for others, to bring about wisdom and clarity.  What serves to bring about sanity?