Big Self - Small Self: A Matter of Designation

byDzigar Kongtrul Rinpoche

We have come to cling to our body, speech and mind as our own—as "me" and "mine." No one really recalls the point at which one begins to consider oneself as "me."

We have adopted this habit, and given it a name so we can distinguish it. But, then we forget it is just a designation, and come to think of this "me" as some kind of real object. The idea of a "singular self" is really just a projected phenomenon. It doesn't truly exist like that, it's just a functional convenience.

Along with a sense of self, there naturally arises a sense of caring and cherishing of the self. If this sense of self is applied to our idea of this small, singular self then our inherent confusion will give rise inevitably to neurosis and attachments, separated and in conflict with others.

But, when we do not separate ourselves as this singular self, if our idea of "self" includes all others in our natural care and cherishing, then there will be loving-kindness present instead of attachment. There will be compassion instead of aggression.

This kind of self is the "big self." It includes everyone. Though still a mere functional designation, this way of thinking will allow us to relate to ourselves in a reasonable way, free of the narrow habituation which creates our attachment and aggression.

Excerpt from NSS 2013. Talk 7, July 16.