言行

Words and Conduct

疼痛又开始折磨可怜的背了，我忍不住一边呻吟一边问身旁的小喇嘛：“怎么办呢？背这么疼。”“您不是告诉我们，生病的时候观想自他相换，甘心代众生承受他们的痛苦，就会减少我执，消除痛苦吗？”

There went again the sharp pain torturing my poor back. I couldn’t help groaning and lamenting to the little lama next to me: “What shall I do? It hurts so much!” “But haven’t you told us that in sickness, we should visualize exchanging ourselves with others and take their sufferings upon ourselves? Isn’t this the way to diminish self-attachment and pacify pain?”

一句话，羞得我无地自容。我时常高坐于讲台上，口中夸夸其谈，事不关己地用大道理去训导别人：要将烦恼病痛转为道用！事后却将这些话抛之脑后，常知绳人，鲜以律己。真可谓“语言的巨人，行动的矮子”。

The little lama’s words left me so embarrassed that I could have sunk through the floor. Often I sat on high podiums and prattled on, admonishing others quite irresponsibly about lofty principles: We must transform adversity and illness into spiritual growth! I used these lectures only to bind others but rarely to discipline myself, as I forgot them immediately afterward. Am I not exactly as described: “A giant in words, a dwarf in action”?

回想最近的行为，发现自己面对困难时，十分在乎自己的心情、自己的伤痛，顽固的我执常常占了上风。三界火宅，岂有无苦之理？异生凡夫，四大不调乃寻常之事，我又何必大惊小怪，徒生忧恼？身体不好，正是修行的大好时机啊！我一边自责，一边修自他相换，效果似乎还不错。

Examining my recent conduct, I saw that in the face of difficulties, I cared so much about my own mood swings and my own sorrows; the obstinate self-grasping always got the upper hand in me. But don’t I know that the three realms are but a house on fire and how can there be no suffering? As an ordinary being, the imbalance of the four elements is nothing uncommon; why should I make a big deal out of being sick? And why should I become frustrated to no avail? When one gets ill, it is actually the best time to practice the Dharma! Reviewing this reasoning, I scolded myself and worked on exchanging myself with others; the result, I felt, was quite good.

平时我常用显微镜来观察别人的过失，却对自己的错误三缄其口。今天，小喇嘛的话令我有醍醐灌顶之感，使我发现了自己难以察觉的过失。古人云：“力行之君子，得一善言，终身受用不尽。不务躬行，纵读尽世间书，于己仍无所益。”我必须将平时之所学、所说，身体力行地应用于日常生活，才不至于成为在湖边渴死的傻瓜。

I tended to use a microscope to find fault with others while keeping my mouth shut about my own defects. What the little lama said was enlightening, and I came to see my own flaws, which were otherwise difficult to spot. An ancient adage goes: “When put into action, even a single piece of good advice will bring benefit enough for a lifetime. By taking no action, even reading all the books in the world will not benefit a bit.” Therefore, I must walk the walk in my daily life of what I have learned and taught. Otherwise, I’ll be like a fool who dies from thirst in front of water.

壬午年六月二十八日　
2002年8月6日　

28th of June, Year of RenWu
August 6, 2002