为难

A Dilemma

世上每个人，不论他们的智慧如何深广，总会遇到不能两全其美的事，更何况像我这样的浅慧之人。今天发生的一件事，就使我左右为难。

People in the world, even the most knowledgeable and learned, will unavoidably encounter some dilemmas in life. What need I say about a person of shallow wisdom like me? For instance, I was thrown into a quandary by the incident that happened today.

几天前，一位从东北千里迢迢赶来的居士告诉我说：“我最近看了您翻译的《释迦牟尼佛广传》，我被佛陀在因地时深广的发心和行为强烈地震撼着。我多么想象他一样抛弃一切，行菩提行。看到学院几千出家人清净而又自由自在的生活，我真想加入他们的行列。如果留在世间，我只有浑浑噩噩地虚耗此生，毫无意义。希望您能成全我。”

A few days ago, a lay practitioner came to see me after having traveled a great distance from the northeastern part of the country. He entreated me: “Lama, these days I have been reading your translation of The Great Biography of Buddha Shakyamuni. The stories of Buddha’s aspiration and practices when he was on the Bodhisattva path struck me to the core. I yearn strongly to follow his example to renounce all worldly affairs and practice the way of enlightenment. Here I see thousands of Sangha members of the academy living a wholesome and unfettered life; how I wish to join them! If I remain in the mundane world, I will end up drifting, wasting my life meaninglessly. Venerable Lama, please do grant me my wishes!”

听了他的话，我十分赞赏，当即同意他出家。不料，他的妻子刚才给我打来电话：“堪布啊！我也是十分虔诚的佛教徒，也向往出家的清净生活。但如今我们的儿子只有七个月，母亲在医院已沉疴难起，我又没有工作。如果他走了，剩下我们孤儿寡母该如何生存？作为大乘佛子，难道就应该置生病的老母、年幼的儿子、无助的妻子于不顾，到深山去发菩提心吗？”

His candor touched me deeply and I gave him my blessings for him to become a monk. Yet out of the blue I just received a call from his wife, who pleaded over the phone: “Venerable Khenpo! I myself am a devoted Buddhist and I also wish for an ordained life free from worldly strife. But in our household, we have a son of merely 7 months old, a bedridden mother in the hospital, and I myself am without a job. Should my husband leave us, how does he expect his widow and orphaned son to survive? Is it proper for a Mahayana practitioner to abandon his ailing old mother, his infant son, and his helpless wife? Can he disregard their welfare and hide among deep mountains to arouse bodhichitta?”

听了她的话，我深感为难，想起六世达赖喇嘛仓央嘉措的那首诗：“曾虑多情损梵行，入山又恐别倾城，世间安得双全法，不负如来不负卿？”

After hearing her side of story, I was at a loss. The situation reminded me a poem by His Holiness the 6th Dalai Lama Tsangyang Gyatso:

I worried that being romantic would ruin my pure conduct,
Yet up in the mountains I vexed over losing my pretty lady.
Why can’t I have the best of both worlds
That would please both the Tathagata and my sweetheart?

既想令孤立无援的她得到救护，又能成全她丈夫出家的宏愿，如何才能找到皆大欢喜的良方呢？

How can I find a perfect solution that will make everybody happy—in one way to find support for the lonely and desperate wife, and in another way to fulfill her husband’s wish of becoming a monk?

壬午年六月十二日 　
2002年7月21日 　

12th of June, Year of RenWu
July 21, 2002