做人要孝顺父母

People Should Be Filial to Their Parents

孝顺父母是令父母高兴，令父母精神得到安慰。

Being filial means making your parents happy and peaceful at heart.

人与禽兽的不同点，在于人有智慧，知道孝顺，守规矩，遵礼法。不懂规矩，不知孝顺父母，不知尽忠报国，不知做人的基本条件，那就和牛马没有什么分别。这一点应该要注意，尤其是学生时代，更要注意！

The difference between people and animals is that people have wisdom and know that they should be filial, follow the rules, and observe propriety. People who don't know enough to follow the rules, show filial respect toward their parents, or serve their country are unaware of the basic requirements for being a person and don't differ much from cows and horses. We should pay attention to this, especially when we are studying in school.

孝顺父母是令父母高兴，令他们精神得到安慰；不是供养父母好吃的东西，好穿的衣服，就认为是尽孝。那么应该怎样才算尽孝呢？首先要听父母的教诲，不可违背父母的话。对父母讲话的时候，要毕恭毕敬；应对的时候，要和颜悦色。父母教你做事情，要赶快去做，不可躲懒偷安，或者有不愿意的表示。若有了过错，父母纠正你，更要欢喜地接受，不可不理会父母的指责。天下父母都希望自己的儿子成龙，所以管教非常严格，在《三字经》上说：

Being filial to your parents means making them happy and peaceful at heart. Merely giving your parents good food to eat and fine clothes to wear is not enough. How can you be a filial child? First of all, listen to your parents' instructions and be very respectful when speaking to them. Always be pleasant and agreeable in responding to them. When your parents tell you to do something, do it immediately. Don't be lazy or reluctant. If they scold you, accept it gladly and don't ignore it. Parents are strict only because they hope their children will become outstanding people. The Three Character Classic says:

子不教，父之过；

教不严，师之惰。

If the son is not taught well,

It is the father's fault;

If the teaching is not strict,

It is the teacher's oversight.

古语说：「棒下出孝子。」这是从前的思想，现在行不通，尤其在美国，简直没有听过，因为美国实行爱的教育，不打不骂，任子女自由发展。总之，太严不好，太放任也不好，采取中道，比较合理。中国人注重孝道，曾参(孔子的弟子)有一句话说：「父母在，不远游；游必有方。」大意是说，父母在世的时候，儿子不可以到很远的地方去，如有必要的事，要到远方去，必定要有个确实的地址，以免父母挂念。令父母担心挂念，就是不孝，俗语说：「儿行千里母担忧」，这就是形容母亲对儿子如何地关心。

There is an ancient saying: “The discipline of the rod produces filial children.” These are ideas of the past; they can no longer be applied now. In the United States in particular, such methods are virtually unheard of, because Americans teach their children with love. They don't beat or scold their children, but allow them to develop freely. In general, parents should be neither too strict nor too permissive; they should follow the middle way.

Chinese people honor the practice of filial piety. Zeng Seng, one of Confucius' disciples, said, “When one's parents are alive, one should not travel afar. If one must travel, one should have a definite destination.” Children should not go far away from home and leave their parents. If you have to travel afar on urgent business, you should let your parents know where you will be staying so they won't worry. If you make your parents anxious, you are not being filial. A proverb says: “When the son travels a thousand miles away, the mother is plagued with anxiety.” Mothers are always greatly concerned about their children.

一九八三年九月十六日开示

A talk given on September 16, 1983